Ask Naruto
by Ozenjin
Summary: Our blond idiot has come to answer all your questions! Come one, come all! He's got some replies to combat the questions!Oh, and don't flame.
1. Chapter 1

Ask Naruto

The fanfic where you may ask our ramen-loving idiot, Naruto! Just post your questions in the review and he will answer

Till then - JKnights


	2. Yay! Letter!

Naruto is sitting in a Beanie chair, playing Time Crisis 3 , With a wireless GunCon for PS2...

...Yo, Naruto, you got some fanmail from the fanfic!

Naruto: o rly?

ya rly.

Naruto: Sweet, what it's say?

Lemme check...

_Carley says:_

_What does Naruto think of Sasunaru? And what is Naruto's favorite flavor of ramen? By the way I LOVE YOU, NARUTO!_

_Dear Carley,_

_What the...ewww! I hate that stuff, it makes me vomit out my instant ramen! Blehh!_

_...Oh, anyway , my favorite flavor is miso ramen! It's awesome dattebayo!!!!! _

_Thanks Carley, I love you too! I finally get fan service! Take that Sasuke!!!!!_

_Ramen rox my sox,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: Jknights4eva said for you to tell your friends to send some mail!_


	3. A few more letters to reply to

Yo Naruto!

Naruto: What is it, Jknight4eva?

We got some more mail!

Naruto: Sweet!

Here we go.. grabs a small satchel of mail

This is from The Unknown Alias:

_Since you know about the abomanation that is narusasu, that means you know about Fanfiction, right? So, what do you think about the crossover fics and which one is your favorite?_

_One more thing, if you couldn't wear your usual orange jumpsuit what would you wear instead?_

_Later hokage!_

_The Unknown Alias_

_Dear TUA,_

_Yes I know NaruSasu (blehh) and yes I know How else would I reply to you guys?_

_The crossover fics, and my fav? Er...Thats a tough one...Avatar, then._

_First of all, my orange jumpsuit rox, and if I could change outfits, a black shirt and orange pants!_

_"The" future hokage, _

_Naruto Uzumaki _

shuffles around bag Ah, here's one!

This is from RubberDuckiesWhoLikePieAndCake:

_hi! how are you? Do you like PIzza? Can you read my mind? And do you like Chocolate?_

_Dear R.D.W.L.P.A.C,_

_Oh, I'm doing fine R.D.W.L.P.A.C, I ate alot of ramen and drank alot of milk!_

_Pizza? I thinks it's ok ,next to ramen ,of course._

_No, I'm not telepathic, though I wish I was!_

_Meh, Chocolate is pretty good._

_Sincerly,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: My friend Jknight4eva told me to tell your friends about this._


	4. Letters galore!

Naruto is playing with a wooden bokuto and smacking down pillows...

Naruto! More mail for you!

Naruto: One second!

Naruto throws bokuto to the side and go to mail bag

Hey! That's my bokuto!!!!

Naruto:Er...lets just read mail!

I'll get you...

This is from anaime freak:

hey naruto,

why wont sakura go out with you?

and why won't u go out with hinata?

it's getting annoying now which one do you really like

P.s i hate narusasu too

_Dear Anaime Freak,_

_Sakura won't go out with because she always shuts me down or gets moody about Sasuke..._

_Huh? Hinata? She's kinda weird and timid, so it's a maybe._

_I like Sakura a bunch! She purty...cough Don't tell her, ok?_

_Oh, a non-NaruSasu fan! Jeez, stop putting me with Sasuke, people!!!!!_

_Sincerly, _

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Sonar:

Which 3 Rookie 9 people are you scared of the most?

_Dear Sonar,_

_1. Shino, because he's really creepy and mysterious..._

_2. Hinata, she sometimes follows me ,that's weird..._

_3. Choji, if you take the last chip , your doomed!!!_

_Sincerly,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from sakurauchiha12:

what if sasuke has a demon inside him, and sakura has the hachibi (8 tailed and 8 headed dragon), and you have the kyuubi and kakashi is well kakashi, do you think all of you together can be sannins at the age of 18?

_Dear sakurauchiha12 ( which I don't like the name of.)_

_Maybe we could be Sannins if we worked hard enough then!!_

_Sasuke and Sakura with demons? We would be best of friends and be so in common!_

_Sincerly,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from antiassasinguy:

Dear Naruto,

What kind of girls do you prefer? Older women or younger women? Blonde, brunette or redhead? Long or short hair? Busty or Curvy? Timid or Outgoing?

And While we're on the subject, who do you think is hotter? Kurenai-sensei or Anko-sensei?

Sincerely, antiassasinguy

_Dear antiassasinguy,_

_This is more of Ero-sennin's deal, but I'll try to answer!!!!_

_I'd pick younger women, any hair, short and long, Doesn't really matter if somewhat busty ,and either!!!!_

_Who do I think is hotter? Eh...er...a-Anko-Sensei ! There, I said it! _

_Don't tell Anko-sensei,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

someone knocks on the door

Dude, its Anko, Naruto...

Naruto: #$!!

bolts down doors

Naruto: Yay for bolted doors!!

runs back to answering desk

This is from hoyt:

Who are your parents?

_Dear hoyt,_

_Honestly, I have no idea! I'll go ask Tsunade-baa-chan!!!!!_

_I'm going to ask,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Gforce member45:

Dear Naruto, if you could unleash Godzilla and the moster made Toho co. would you?

_Dear Gforce,_

_It depends on the situation, my good fan. If Itachi was coming, then I 'd would go Godzilla on him!!!!_

_Sincerly,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from sarah:

hey naruto!

Have you seen what's under Kakashi sensei's face yet? hehehe i bet 'he's hiding something

By the way, out of all the girls in Konoha, who do you like best? if its sakura why particularly her? and have you noticed any coughhinatacough other girls who might admire you but are too shy lol?

AND lastly oh great naruto lol

Is that little night cap you wear special to you? What makes it so special? (i think it's cute hehe)

all the best to becoming hokage! don't lose to sasuke!

sarah

_Dear Sarah,_

_Yea, I tried to see what was under his mask, but I failed miserably..._

_Sakura is one of the best because she's hot...and other girls thinks I'm a an evil little child ( but Sakura respects me more )_

_I wuv my little nightcap...I mean, it's special because I got it when I was litttle..._

_Thanks for the support,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

Naruto: Wow, who knew answer fanmail coulde be so tiring?

Naruto! Anko broke in!!!

Anko tackle glomps Naruto-who is still in a computer chair

Anko: So...you think I'm hot...?

Naruto: Help me! Crazy woman is trying to rape me!!!

Jknight4eva shoots Anko with tranquilizer

Oh my god, that was close!

Naruto and Jknights deadbolt all windows and doors

Both Naruto and Jknight4eva: Yay for deadbolts!!!

**Remember, R&R!!!**


	5. Spicy letters!

Welcome to Ask Naruto!!!!

Yo, Naruto!!! MAIL!!!!!!

Naruto: Wow, my adoring fans are amazing!!

Yea, yea, just answer them...

Naruto: Your just jealous...

This is from Earthpaw:

Dear "The" Future Hokage

Why is it whenever you do the oiroke-no-jutsu anyone around you gets a monster nosebleed. I mean what's up with the nose bleeds? Why the nose?

Good luck and beat Sasuke up for me! (But don't hurt Neji or Kiba)

Earthpaw :3

_Dear Earthpaw, _

_Would you rather have them bleed out their asses?_

_Scared of hemmeroids,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from simsimi:

hello future rokudaime (6th) hokage!

i've got lots of questions to ask if you don't mind.

1. what got you addicted to ramen?

2. What's your favourite spot in Konoha?

3. Who's the scariest sensei?

4. Why do you like the yondaime (4th) hokage so much? What makes him a hero to you?

5. When you do become hokage, what's the first thing you plan to do? lol

Thanks for being a great inspiration to so many of us!

You have my support so show them what you got!

_Dear Simsimi,_

_I got addicted to ramen from the taste and the delicious smell...Mmmm, ramen..._

_My favorite spot? Why, Ichiraku ramen is the best place ever! (next to the Hokage seat.)_

_Kakashi can be really scary if he wants to be, so I'll say Kakashi!!_

_First, he looks like me, and second, he created the Rasengan!_

_I will make ramen so much more cheaper!!!_

_Getting hungry,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Torn Yorick:

Dear Naruto,

Why don't you put your hair down, instead of all spiked up? I think you look hotter than Sasuke when it's down(and wet, heheh)!

Btw, NARUTOxHINATA forever!!

With loveYorick

_Dear Torn Yorick,_

_I like my spiky hair, but if it makes me better than Sasuke, I'll give it a shot!!!_

_Ehhh!!!! Hinata and me??? Er...if that's your cup of tea, fine..._

_Trying the wet,down hair,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

Another from Hoyt:

now that youve asked who are they?

_Dear Hoyt,_

_Tsunade-baa-chan won't tell me who my parents are or were!!! She says it's suppose to be kept a secret._

_Very curious,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from divinekyuubi:

Dear Naruto,

Do you like naru/saku naru/sasu naru/ino naru/kaka or naru/hin?

_Dear Divinekyuubi(who is in me),_

_Naru/Saku? Hell yes it should be!!!!_

_Naru/Sasu? I told you people, no way in hell would this happen!!!!!!_

_Naru/Ino? Nah, she thinks I'm annoying._

_Naru/Kaka? That's as awful as Naru/Sasu!!!_

_Naru/Hina? If she didn't stutter so much, maybe._

_I hate Naru/Sasu and Naru/Kaka,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: Jknights4eva told me to tell your friends about this!!_


	6. Sorry for the wait!

Naruto: Sorry, I couldn't reply guys, busy with ninja missions!!!!

Yea, now get to the freakin letters!!!

Naruto: Fine. cough stupid author cough

What did you say?

Naruto: Nothing at all!!!

...Anyways, this is from Kyoni:

Dear Naruto-san,

How can you stand Sasuke? He's such a loser that's always looking on the down side. Would it really kill him to be nice once in a while?

Don't get me started on Sakura. She really needs to stop looking in a mirror and see you standing there. Also, why do you bother with her? Sure she's pretty and smart, but why try to gain the attention of a girl that would never give it to you?

Meh. Oh and. . .

Hi! NARUTO!

signed,

Kyoni.

_Dear Kyoni,_

_Sasuke is a complete emo, and emo people are avoided easily!!!! And, yes, it would be better if he lightened up a bit!!!!_

_Like I said, I want to be acknownledged by everybody in Konoha, so why not start with Sakura!!!_

_Hi to you too, Kyoni,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Earthpaw:

Dear Naru-kun! (if I may call you that)

If all the ramen in the world was gone, what would be your new favorite food?

Regards,

Earthpaw :3

_Dear Earthpaw (again),_

_What do you mean, I would starve to death!!!!!_

_Outraged,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: Have your friends send letters._


	7. Questions to be answered

Naruto: Welcome to the newest installment of Ask Naruto!!!!!!!!

(applause)

Yeah...now read some letters.

Naruto: Gawd, ruin my moment, dattebayo...

This is from mangaFrEAk19930:

Dear. Naru-Naru-kun,

Hi! I want to ask u, who do u think would be a good couple from this choices"

1.GaaHina

2.KibaHina

3.ShinoHina

4.LeeHina

5.KankyHina

6.SasuHina

7.SasuHina

8.NejiHina

9.ShikaTema

10.ShikaIno

11.LeeSaku

12.LeeTen

13.SasuSaku

14.AsuKure

15.KakaKure

16.KakaShizu

17.GenShizu or? U have the other?

Yeah, I mean the boy who match with the 6 girls ( Hina,Saku,Ino,Ten,Tema,Kure and Shizu)

_Dear mangaFrEAk19930,_

_I'm not good at this sorta thing, so I can't answer..._

_Sorry,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Pookie:

First of all: NaruKaka sounds so wierd! Just try saying it out loud!

Second: Why do you hate SasuNaru so much? I,personaly, consider it my fave pairing. Would it be better if it was NaruSasu?

Third: Sakura is a nobody. Why don't you drop her and find someone better? cough HINATA cough

Fourth:Why won't you try something other than Ramen? Like McDonalds or something.

Fifth: Who do you admire most? And DON'T say the dude who invented Ramen.

Sixth: Avatar? Yuck! I love Avatar too but personally, InuyashaxNaruto crossovers ALL THE WAY!

Seventh: Is all this reading hurting your brain? Cause all this typing sure is hurting mine.

Signed, Your fave Yaoi luvin fangurl,

Pookie (nickname. PUH-LEASE don't ask)

_Dear Pookie,_

_NaruKaka is a nasty pairing, and it sounds like some toilet humor._

_God damn it, I dont swing that way! Sasuke is a freakin emo!!!!!! Changing the title is still BAD!!!!_

_...So what, other people think of me as a nobody!!! Oh, and watch that cough, don't spread germs._

_I don't strive on ramen, okay! I just like it more than anything. _

_The 4th Hokage, duh!!!!_

_Inuyasha? Oh, I challenged him to a ramen eating contest!!! I whooped him._

_Yes, my brain kinda stings..._

_I hate SasuNaru or NaruSasu,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from _ TATheSunTwin:_

Dear Lord Naruto,

Have you watch Oban Star-Racers and who's your favorite character in it?

Can you tell the difference between a Crog and a Black mage?

Do you feel sorry for the Nobodies in Kingdom Hearts 2?

If you meet one of the Royal Knights from the Digimon series, what will you do? invited them for Ramen?

Do you watch Family Guy? do you love or hate it?

Which female or male Final Fantasy characters do you like?

_Dear TA,_

_I have not seen Oban Star Racers, but I'll take a gander..._

_What the heck is a crog? Black mages are pretty cool!!!_

_I think thet look kinda like carnie...wait, Iruka told me not to talk to carnies..._

_Why not? Ramen is teh food for the gods._

_Yes, I find it hilarious!_

_Cloud Strife is really cool, he has a huge ass sword!!!!_

_Good questions,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Torn Yorick:

Dear Naruto,

Why don't you like Ino? I mean she's prettier than Sakura! and what would you do if she asked you out?what about Hinata?

And (yes I've watched the episode) what do you think is REALLY under Kakashi's mask??

One of your many crazed fangirls,

Yorick!

_Dear Torn Yorick,_

_Ino is kinda like Sakura, but I guess I wouldn't know what to do if she asked me out._

_Hinata is shy, but she pulled through not as stuttering as much!!!!_

_I think it might be a scar or mark of some sort..._

_Loves sweet fanservice,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from AngelLucifel:

Naruto! I have a question:

WHY DO YOU SAY DATTEBAYO?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?

Also, why don't you check out the "Ask Sakura" column I'm writing for her, you can Ask Sakura some of your questions!

While you're at it, in case she hasn't mentioned it herself, Torn Yorick has an Ask Ino column you should check out, it's hilarious!

_Dear Angel,_

_It's better than saying believe it ever single time, right?_

_Oh, Sakura is writing one too? I'll check it out!_

_So Ino too has a column? I bet it's a competition for Sasuke._

_I'll check the columns,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: Have your friends send questions!!!!_


	8. Winter break!

(Alarm clock beeping)

Naruto: Jknights4eva, it's winter break, why have an alarm clock?

It wasn't me! The alarm clock is broken!

(gunshots)

Ahh...much better.

Naruto: Wasn't that too drastic?

...just get to reading letters.

Naruto: Hehehe...

This is from The Unknown Alias (again):

Dear The future Hokage,

Hmm... Well well Naruto, it seems you're really getting into this! Though I must admit, I'm curious. How did you get so culturally knowledged? (Know all this stuff that isn't in your world, in case you get confused.) But more importantly, do you know about all the annoying cliches? (Is that how you spell it?) You know, like going back in time and all that junk? If you were to create a story, what would the plot be? Finally, what kinds of music do you listen to and which singer is your favorite?

Kick all ass!

The Unknown Alias

_Dear TUA,_

_I get culturally knowledged by surfing the web a ton! The cliches? It depends on the situation, like defeating an army or getting a weapon._

_I would make it centered around my life with some changed details..._

_Don't have a favorite singer, but J-Rock is good stuff dattebayo!_

_Ass-kicking in progress,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

This is from Wii are the people:

Dear Naruto-kun (if i may call you that), you realize that Sakura's in love with Sasuke right? I'm sorry, but I think she only likes you in a sisterly way-oh and by the way, hinata-chan likes you (more than a friend if you know what I mean) and that 'ultra pretty girl' you saw was hinata-chan.

OK here are my questions:

1. How would you react if all the kunoichis were in bathing suits-SKIMPY bathing suits? Make a list of the names and next how you would react.

2. Would you wax Lee's eyebrows for me? He'd look better with a different hairstyle too...so...please take him somewhere that makes poeple look good (like a good beauty salon or sumthin)

3. Has Ero-Sannin peeked on the younger kunoichis? Cuz' if he did...thats just...wrong...and pedophilish...

4. Which paring do you prefer and why? Neji/Hina (there not ACTUALLY related) or Naru/Hina (cute!)

Oh! and I DARE you to ask out hinata-chan AND kiss her (on the lips) if you don't , you'll never become Hokage (i want you to, but stil...you MUST do it.). K?

Don't worry you're still awesome (as is Kuuybi-san)

sincerely,

Big naruto fan (no I'm not crazy) - .

_Dear Wii,_

_Yes, I know she loves Sasuke, but I want more than sisterly love! Ew, that sounded like incest... _

_So Hinata was that ultra pretty girl? I'll ask her about that one?_

_Sakura: I've seen it on a mission once, very...(ahem) interesting._

_Ino: I bet it isn't as different as Sakura...No, I dont like her!_

_Ten-Ten: Eh, she isn't as defined as...I mean, she's probably okay..._

_Temari: Looks...Um, what was the question?_

_I'm gonna stop now, I'm nosebleeding on the keyboard..._

_Yes, I would, but Lee would probably Konoha Senpuu my ass like crazy..._

_No, Ero-sannin is sick, but not "that" demented..._

_Ewwwwwww!!!! They still are part of the same family! That's sick! Naru/Hina? Eh...if you like it._

_Will I get some sort of prize if I do so? I hope it's ramen._

_Loves his fans,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

Another from TATheSunTwin:

Dear cutie Naruto,

Here's the offical Oban Star-Racers Forum that can tell you everything about my favortive show and what a Crog is and the two Crogs names are Toros and Kross.

What is your worse nightmare?

Will you go insane and release the Kyuubi if Ramen stop exist in

your world?

Do you know if you have the Keyblade and with it, you can unlock and lock everything you want,like going into space with a ship and steal things from Aliens in kingdoms and etc or taste Alien Ramen.

You should date Hinata because she's really sweet and kind and

the perfect girlfriend for you!

Love and please become Hokage,

TATheSunTwin :)

_Dear TA,_

_What do you mean? I don't see a forum...weird!_

_Re-living the Sasuke accidental kiss...ugh..._

_Yes, I might go Kyuubi for ramen! It's a wonderful food!!!_

_Alien ramen? I wonder what it tastes like..._

_She's nice and sweet, but she faints too much, it would kinda ruin a relationship!!!_

_I will be Hokage,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_PS: Send in some questions!!!_


	9. Now in Live Studio!

After Christmas, I decided to perform Ask Naruto via live studio!

Naruto: Hell yes!

A'ight, here are the letter.

Dear the future Hokage,

Merry Christmas! How are things? Author freakin you out too much? So tell us, what presents did you get for christmas? And what presents did you give everyone else?

Okay I just have to ask. In full detail, what was your most recent wet dream?

Happy New Year!

-The Unknown Alias

Naruto: Well, my Christmas rocked so hard! Plus, JKnights4eva gave me a month woth of ramen! Also, I gave away boxes of chocolate to people!

But you forget my present?

Naruto: Oops.

-Naruto hands a $50 Target giftcard-

Better.

Naruto: No thanks!

Next Question(s)

Dear Naru-chan ( If you don't like that.. Oh well! )

Hinata doesn't even follow you that much anymore, and if she does, I'll tell you why, she loves you and wants to make sure you're okay, and because she admires you ALOT! She changed because of you. Sakura DOES NOT LOVE YOU. SHE LOVES SASUKE.

LEAVE IT BE. Don't ruin the friendship you have with her by pursuing her, Now think about how heart broken Hinata would be if you did... Oh and Hinata only faints because when you're around her she feels in love, I faint too!! So don't even go there or I'll Katon Goukyuu your ass to the moon. . . Heres my questions,

1. If Sasuke-kun came back and wanted Sakura, and Sakura still wanted him, what would you do?

2. If Sakura told you to back off, would you? Seriously.

3. I know who your father is!! It's the Yondaime, I went into your files.. Heeheehee.. I went into Sasuke's too.. What is your reaction??

4. What's your fave pairing other than NaruSaku ( obviously )

5. I'm gonna try and fix up Hina-chan for you, go on a date with her and when you come back tell me how it went.

6. I wrote a NaruSaku fanfic once.. If I upload it will you read it?

Love,

L.K.S.

Naruto: I told you, I'll ask her eventually! For the first and second question, I'd guess I would leave them alone.

So in other words, get all emo!

Naruto: No...anyways...THE FORTH IS MY F#!KING DAD! HOLY CRAP!

Psh, like everybody didn't know..

Naruto: WHAT?

Next Question(s)

This is from Sasami:

Dear Naruto,

If I was a student at your academy I'd kill Sakura, from my village or not.What would you do?

P.s- Even though I'm a girl I am telling you that Ino is so hot I'd probably do her if I was a boy.

Naruto: I don't know, is Iruka in the classroom? Aha, you didn't think ahead!

Damn it, he's right...

Naruto: Wait, Sasami, if you were a boy? I'm lost...

I'll tell him later...

Next question(s)

This is from The Unsuspecting Writer:

'Allo Naruto!

Just a few random questions for ya, darlin'!

1. What do you want most in the world? (Cannot have anything to do with: Sakura, Sasuke, ramen, proving your worth, or being Hokage. : )

2. What's your favorite type of music?

3. Who's the scariest female genin?

4. Do you like dogs or cats better? (It's okay, Kiba isn't around.)

5. Have you ever seen anyone other that Gaara that has red hair?

6. Are you getting paid to answer these questions?

Naruto: I want to learn super awesome jutsu!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't we all want to...

Naruto: Of course, we whoop hard if we do! By the way, I love J-Rock!

-studio door opens-

Itachi: -singing- I wish I was a llama, in a great big llama world!

Naruto: ...Itachi?

Itachi: You tell anyone I sang that, your dead.

Hey, try to kill him, I'll castrate you and smash both your kneecaps with my bokken...

Itachi: What make you think you can beat me?

I'm a author.

Itachi: DAMN IT!

Naruto: Anyways, Tsunade-baa-chan is really scary and she punches super hard!

Poor Naruto...

Itachi: I'm here in this studio for what reason again?

You threatened Naruto, made fun of my abilities, WHAT THE F#K DO YOU THINK BITCH!

Itachi: ...sorry

Naruto: ...Dogs are better, they make good pets cause they follow orders! No, I have not seen anyone else with red hair, it's kinda creepy.

Naruto, lemme handle the next question.

Naruto: Alright, JKnights4eva!

No, I don't pay Naruto in cash, I treat him to ramen!

Itachi,Naruto, Me: BTW, R&R!


	10. Sorry

I'll be busy, so slow the fan letters down!

JKnights4eva


	11. Chapter 11, fools!

After a long wait...

Naruto: Well, the the studio has finally been set up, let the fans in!

- Fans rush in, try to glomp Naruto, are blocked by Itachi-

Itachi( in a Agent Smith get-up): Stay away from the main character, people...

Jeez, Naruto, aren't you happy I got the Akatsuki as bodyguards?

Naruto: Hell yeah!

Deidara: Yo, how much we geting payed, hm?

You get payed 500 ryo an hour.

Deidara: Holy freaking sweet, hm!!!!!

Anyways, to the letters!

Naruto: This is from Lyon Ryuushi!

All right Naruto why do you seriously not like Hinata I mean think about it Sakura will always just love you as a brother all right nothing more you got that because if you keep going after her you're going to be lonely because as soon as Sasuke kills Itachi he's going to rebuild the Uchiha clan get that through your head god damnit. I'm done ranting.

Naruto: Hinata? I told you guys, that's a maybe, I have to think it through before I go and ask! Also, Sasuke rebuilding the Uchiha clan?

Itachi: I'd love to see him try to kill me...

Get back to work!!!!!

Itachi:Yes, sir!

Naruto: Sasuke has alot of fangirls, but he's probably is gay...He went to Orochimaru for crying out loud!

- Itachi mutters something about his brother-

Naruto:This is from Starfaya967!

Hi 6th hokage!

I must say you are HOT when your hair is wet. (You look better than Sasuke!) And trust me you are better than Sasuke, here is the proof:

First of all Sasuke was such an idiot when he said "How could you who's always been alone know what it's like to lose everything than be alone!" Geez what an idiot!

Second of all He only beat you at the waterfall because he went into second cursemark mode.

Third of all who was the one who actually DID something when Orochimaru was attacking you guys? You!

Fourth Thanks to you his body wasn't taken! and i don't get this...how could he kill his bro if HE'S dead? If he's consumed in evil he'll be killed by Orochimaru and then his dream will never be complete and he'll never get his power!

Did you ask Hinata about that pretty girl incident? What'd she say? If she said no it's a lie! She loves you so much!

And i gave her a makeover!

(Hinata walks out looking as pretty as Ino or Sakura)

And anyway besides that you are the one being there for Sakura and Sasuke is not! I mean even though Sakura is one of my fave characters she has to open her eyes to you!

And just to say that i love you so much as well that i'm dissing Orochimaru and Sasuke just so that you'll be happy!

Sorry Sasuke and Orochimaru-sama!

Anyway Naruto you'll be hokage for sure! (runs up to him from no where and pecks him on the cheeck and gives him a hug)

Bye! YOU ARE THE NUMBER ONE NINJA!

Starfaya967

Naruto: Why, thanks about the hair comment! Also, Sasuke-teme has only been lonely for shorter than I have, so take that, Sasuke!

Man, if Sasuke were here, he'd be pissed...

Naruto: Damn right, he would! Anyways, that cursemark is basically a powerful hickey from Orochimaru! Oh, and if he dies by Orochimaru, I'll guess I

have to avenge his sorry ass...

- Naruto looks at the new Hinata -

Naruto: Wow...eh, she's kinda pretty with that make-over...

Naruto, snap out of it!

Naruto: Huh? What? Oh yeah, back to work! Sakura will definatly fall to your charms,one day, so says Ero-sennin.

- Get hugged and pecked on the cheeck from Starfaya967-

Naruto: Hehehehe, talk about fangirls...

We don't have time to dilly-dally, answer the letters!

Itachi: Who peed in your coffee?

- Whip crack-

Itachi: Getting back to work...

Anyways, R&R!!!


	12. Sasuke's here!

Naruto: Welcome to the next installment of Ask Naruto!!!!

-Applause-

Kisame: Yo brat, should I'll let the author in?

Naruto: Yeah, fish man!

- JKnight4eva busts through the studio door-

Uwaaaaaaah!

Naruto: Jeez, don't you think that was a bit unecessary?

No.

Naruto: Ok...I'll just get the letters!

Naruto: These are from Senectrix!

Dear Naruto,

I can relate to you very much on the outcast thing, Never had many friends, never for long either. Your way way cooler than Sasuke! So, where exactly can I go to get ninja training? Also, this is kind of a dumb question, anway Do you like answering randome question? Are you good At spelling? I'm not!

Your truly,

Senectrix

P.S. I alwas use letter format doing these kind of things, someone has to!

ALSO

Dear Naruto,

Hey it's me again! Another one of my stupid questions but, Is it true Orochimaru tried to rape sasuke? Also Is Haku a man or woman, I could never figure it out.

Your fan,

Senectrix

Naruto:For the first letter, I have alot of friends nowadays, dattebayo!

I am one of them?

Naruto: Of course, who ever buys me ramen is a friend of mine!

Awesome.

Naruto: Continuing on, you have to find your nearest ninja academy, and I'm pretty good at spelling!

Yay, now for the second letter...

- Sasuke barges through the door -

Sasuke: Brother, where are you? I know your here!

Holy crap, Sasuke? Itachi's shift is over, he went home.

Sasuke: Then, I'll wait here...

Naruto: Oh my god, Sasuke, is that you?

Sasuke: Ah crap, Naruto...

Ehem...get back to the letter, Naruto.

Naruto: Oh, right. Did Orochimaru ever rape you, Sasuke?

Sasuke( red in the face): -cough- yesiwas -cough-

Naruto: What did you say, yes or no?

Sasuke( Red as ever): yes...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Naruto: Ew, Sasuke, you gay! Oh, and Haku was a guy.

Remember, R&R


	13. Wordy letters, they be

Announcer:Ask Naruto is performed in front of a live audience.

Naruto: Damn, it's been a while...my new costume is the shiznit!

Damn straight it is!

Naruto: So, to the letters!!!

-studio doors burst with fangirl crowd-

Itachi: Stay away from the kid!

Naruto: This is from D.O.B.E!

Hi naruto,author,sasuke,and Kyuubi-sama (itachi-CHAN too .)

Anyway,- OMG sasuke's there! what kind of hair gel do you use whats- okay i'm bad as a sasuke-fangirl i'm better as a naruto-fangirl. (not in a way,like,"MARRY ME!" more like,"YOU'RE SO CUTE!")

For sasuke:

1) -beats your head with a pan- YOU MORON MARRY SAKURA BEFORE I (bad word) BEAT YOU TO (bad word) HELL!

2) What does- oh sorry DID it feel like being on a team with people better than you? YES I MEAN NARUTO AND SAKURA! .

(Don't take it personally i act more like naruto,so it's natural for me to like him better)

3) -hugs- you still rock too -patpat-

For Naruto:

1) You Rock.-gives you ramen-

For the Author:

1) this story. -gives you cookies-

For Itachi:

You rock Tachi-chan. (LOL)-gives you an akatsuki cloak with pink clouds on it-

For Kyuubi:

I like wolves better .

nah j/k you're an exeption. -huggles you and gives you...uhh whatever 9-tailed demon fox's eat-

LUFFLES YOU ALL!

Love D.O.B.E

Sasuke: First of all, I use no hair gel or special shampoos.

Believe me, he uses Head and Shoulders...

Sasuke: Why the hell did you tell everyone?

For kicks.

Sasuke: -sigh- I don't like Sakura, she's annoying as hell.

Naruto: Oh, no you didn't.

Oh yea, he did.

Sasuke: -reads next question- -GASPS- Naruto and Sakura better than me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!111!!!!-cough-!!!

-silent audience-

You OK now?

Sasuke: Yup.

-JKnights4eva picks up presents-

Naruto: Sweet, ramen...-eats-

Oh shnap, cookies!!!! -devours in a way reminicscent of a T-rex-

Itachi: Hey, how did you aquire Orochimaru's old cloak?

Who knows how...

Announcer: Now, put your hands together, for Kyuubi!

-A 6-foot tall Kyuubi on hind legs comes in-

Kyuubi: Hello, hello!

-Applause and cheering can be heard-

Yo, here's some food.

Kyuubi: Sweet! -devours-

Nothing like Melatonin steak...(AN: Melatonin sleep aid)

Kyuubi: Damn you...

- Kyuubi falls asleep-

Quick, let's all write on his face!

Naruto: Now, let's do another letter. It's from Not-Going-To-Tell!

Dear Naruto-dono: (I hope I got that right, I'm not fluent in fanboy)

I have some questions for you pertaining to pairings, fics, and Sasuke (Diedidiediediedie...goes on for several pages)

For pairings: I personally support your endeavors in gaining Sakura's love. I don't care if canon steers away from NaruSaku, I will get my NareSaku fix! But anyways, I also support you with any and all girls on the rookie 9 (+Temari) other than Hinata, as that pairing just doesn't seem... right to me. My question is:

In a NaruxHarem fic, who would you prefer to be paired with, out of all the females that we, the fans, know of? Sakura is a given, but pick at least 2 more, please.

On fics: What would you do if there was a (shudders) MARY-SUE loose in Kohana? Who tried to pair you up with Sasuke with her evil powers, dressed Kisame in fishnet, got DIERDA and SAKURA together, and tried to (this one is for Itachi as well) mate Kakashi and Itachi? There is a story about this, where you and Itachi are the only sane, straight characters left. Another question: What do you think about well written NaruHarem stories? femHaku stories, in which you are paired up with her? The Naruto/Bleach and Naruto/WoW crossovers out there?

On Sasuke: He is the most &$#E$# $#&ing piece of $#)&$ that I've ever had the displeasure of laying eyes upon! The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes! I'd set my ten commandments on his face! He smells of mountain goat! Scratching his face couldn't make it worse! I was even searching for a fool when I found him!

You can see I really hate his guts, mostly for what he did to you at the valley of the end. Now the Questions: How could a sane girl like Sakura go after that cold, uncaring ($#(# and not after the kindness that you always offer her? Why do people flock to that needy btch when you deserve more of their attention? Would you consider him a better person if he had to work hard like you, and actually earn respect?

Ranting about Sasuke reminded me of a list I made up: The people who must be punished for abusing/neglecting Naruto list. Sasuke is number 1 on that list. Kakashi-teme is number 2. This is because he abandoned you during the chunin exams, first not worrying about you, the one who held more real importance to the village, then abandoning you to train Sasuke. Later, after you rescued Tsunade, he chastised you for using Ranseangan on the #$# on the roof, while he had turned a ing Chidori on you, and he got off with nothing. For ignoring you, what do you think should happen to him?

Finally, a few random questions that bug the fanbase: Is Kyuubi male or female, good or evil? Are you really as idiotic as you let on, or are you cunning as a fox? If you had to choose a date other than Sakura or Hinate, who would you choose? What's your oppinion on stupid highschool fics? Has this Stupid mortal fanboy asked to many questions, and should he back off now?

Hoping you continue to keep us alive through your will:

Not-Going-To-Tell.

Naruto: For the pairings, I'd choose Ten-Ten, to annoy Neji! Fate and destiny, my ass.

-Neji fangirls are sharpening swords-

Itachi, back up on Neji fans.

Itachi: Got it. -runs and binds them to a post- (AN: BDSM, when have you failed us, lol.)

Naruto: The next one is...Temari, since I've run out of options that don't rock that hard.

Keep it real, homie.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi: -read next question- ...Ewwwwwwwwww.

I'm disgusted.

Naruto: Harem fics make me look a total player, so they rox!

Playa! - high-fives Naruto-

Naruto: -reads next couple questions- Well, a female Haku? Oh shnap, I'd tap that ass!

Good god.

Naruto: What? Haku would be shmexy as a girl.

True dat.

Naruto: Bleach and WoW? Meh, WoW is the gods and so is Bleach!

Hooray for Zangetsu and Burning Crusade!!!!!

Sasuke: -reads- The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes? Well, fu-

- JKnights4eva points sword at Sasuke- Don't drop the F-bomb.

Well, I've read a article about bad boys, and that about 80 are attachted to them. Creepy, eh?

Kyuubi: -cleaning fur of marker drawings, reads Kyuubi questions- I'm a guy, I'm a cunning fox too.

Naruto: I don't know about the pairings, -coughSakura- but High School fics? It was bad enough with the Academy.

Woah, it's kinda wordy, let's get a less wordy one!

Naruto: I agree.

Sasuke: Ditto.

Itachi: Me three.

Tis the letter be from an ol' pal Starfaya967!

Hey Naruto! Sorry I'm reviewing on a different chapter! I succeded in beating my friend Marlina on letting her have Shino and Lee. Sorry Lee-kun I'll save you later! Anyway on with my questions! First for Sasuke:

1. When and how did your Bro turn evil?

and

2. How did you get that house in Konoha?

Say hi to Itachi for me! And tell him I think it was AWESOME he ate an exorsist!

Now for you Naruto-san!

1. What do you think of sushi? It's my FAVE Asian dish besides Ramen.

2. People like your Black and Orange suit better than your Blue and Orange suit. Which one do you like more? (And why didn't you wear the black and orange one sooner? You look even hotter!)

And by the way Sasuke...

you are a WHINEY, PATHETIC, SNOBBY, FUZZBAG!

Ja!

Star

Sasuke: My bro wants power and nothing more!

So do you, you hypocrite.

Sasuke: I hate you.

Thank you for your kind words, you bastard-coated bastard with bastard filling. (AN:For the people who watch Scrubs, you know about the insult.)

Yo Itachi!

Itachi: What? Is it a letter? Lemme read. -reads comment- Why, thank the nice person for the comment!

Naruto: Now, it's my turn! -reads- Sushi is a good snack, but nothing compared to the holy power of Ramen!

Tell it like it is!

Naruto: And my new suit is so kicking, I could get all the ladies.

Sure...

Sasuke: -reads- WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME?

'Cause you are an overall buttface,

Sasuke: -Sulking like th emo he is-

Announcer: That concludes Ask Naruto! Remember...

Ask Naruto crew:Don't flame, R&R, send in letters!!!


	14. Madness? THIS IS THE NEW CHAPTER!

Naruto: Hey JKnights4eva, time to start the show...

Ughnnn...

Naruto: Stop watching Hellsing and start the show!!!!

Wait, what? Oh, ok. Itachi, let the fangirls in!!!!

Itachi: Got it.

-huge crowd rushs in, but held away-

Naruto: That's a lot of fans...

You have no idea.

Naruto: Anyways, let's get the letters answered!!!!

This is from firecrescent.

hey naruto...

I HAV A PICTURE OF KAKASHI WITHOUT HIS MASK!

if u want it just go look up Kakashi on photobucket, kay?!?!

and find it on photobucket!

hope u embarrass Kakashi,

firecrescent

Naruto: Oh my god, really? Time for some bribery!!

Embarrass Kakashi, indeed.

Sasuke: -looks at pic- By gum, he's dead shexy!!!!

Exactly, you emo.

Anyhow, next letter is from million bullets.

Naruto:

Which fight is a lot better the Garaa vs. Lee in the chuunin exam or the Temari vs. Shikamaru?

Sasuke:

Would you ever kill Naruto and/or Sakura?

Did you ever do anything to fangirls that involve some sort of intimacy? and don't lie.

Update.

Naruto: The Shikamaru vs. Temari. Even though he didn't win, he fought with style.

Shikamaru: Hell yes I did.

-applause-

Wow, how'd you get here?

Shikamaru: The door was open and unlocked...jeez, lock the door.

Thanks for the reminder, deformed pineapple head. Shuck meh bawlz.

Shikamaru: I don't swing that way.

That's not what your mother said in bed.

Shikamaru: I hate you.

Sasuke: -reads- I might kill Naruto or Sakura, if they get in my way.

Naruto: I'm touched, Sasuke, truly.

Sasuke: Get bent.

STFU, or I'll slap your face in the pavement.

Sasuke: Hn.

...next letter from Hilarious Tragedy...

dont worry sasuke!! i dont hate you!! your the greatest! oh, tachi-chan (haha!) the exorcist thing, yeah, that was my cousin, can i have him back? i need him to do my homework ; um i need a bit of advice. wow! someone is actually asking for advice on one of these things! anywho, my kitty ellie was really sick. we, erm, aahh, umm, had to, erm, put her WAAH! MY FRIEND NEEDS TO TYPE IT!

friend: she had to put her kitten down because it had FPV, feline puenomia-whatever-its-called. its uncurable.

thnx friend!

friend: dont mention it

anyway, i havent a clue what to do now. i cried for 1 1/2 hours and then i had ice cream, and now i typed this review. it just happened around 2 hours ago. im sad... and my male cat fluffy is mad cuz he cant find his mating partner ;

um, i guess thats it! byebyez!!

Naruto: Whoa, wordy one.

Itachi: Indeed it is, nine-tail boy.

Kyuubi: Ahem, I'm not in the vessel, I'm right beside you.

Naruto: Hey Kyuubi! -reads- Poor kitty...

Kyuubi: Mmm...kitty.

Naruto: Kyuubi, you're so heartless!

Nah, he isn't. Kyuubi, how do kittens taste like?

Kyuubi: A bit like beef, somewhat like lamb.

Sweet.

Itachi: You people are messed up...

...and you're the one to talk?

Itachi: Damn you. -reads following letter- I didn't eat an exorcist, but it was a nice comment none the less.

Now, for the next letter by The Unknown Alias

Hey THE Future Hokage!

Been a while! Still, to my questions. First off, when will we Americans get to see your adventures on your three year training trip in English? Finally, to the author. Why are you allowing Sasuke to be here? I mean it's great to see Sas-gay get constantly hated recently, but this show is about Naruto, not Sasuke! (And if you say that he's here because of fangirls, just toss him out to them. Do us all a favor.)

See ya!

Alias.

Naruto: America will probably take about 5 years to get there, 2-3 if no fillers.

But they will probably show fillers anyway.

Naruto: Those cheap bastards!!!

-reads author question- Because it's fun to watch Itachi and Sasuke fight.

Itachi: Little brother, where the hell are my pink frosted donuts?

Sasuke: -has pink frosting all over mouth- I ate them, you family-killing bastard.

-Itachi kicks Sasuke in the stomach, causing him to kneel, while Sasuke throws frosting on his cloak-

Itachi: Damn it, this is dry-clean only!!!

Gwhahaha, this is fun.

Naruto: um, the next question is from FlamingWings.

1. If I give you a shotgun and 3 rounds who would you shoot?

2. Have you seen the chibi fruit naruto at ( and the other links in the series? If so wat are your thoughts on that.

3. If I turned sasuke into a chibi for a whole year how would u rub it in his face?

For now later,

FlamingWings

Naruto: One for Sasuke, for being a bastard!!! -glares menacingly, loads shotgun -

Sasuke: -gulp-

Naruto: Hehehe...the next rounds are for...Micheal Jackson and K-Fed.

Death to K-Fed and his god awful rapping!

Naruto: -reads next question- What's that?

I dunno, let's keep moving along.

Naruto: -reads chibi question- I would rub it in his emo face for the rest of his life if you did!

Samey.

Now, a letter from Senectrix...

I'm back! So, sasuke-kun, will you please kill saukra for me? I hate her! Also on a random note, are you related to Roy Mustang? sweatdrop couln't resist the temptation of asking. Anyway I think your cool! PALMTREE IN A MINISKIRT!

-senectrix, the freak who is obsessed with the word palmtree

Sasuke: I would, but I need a incentive.

-SasaSaku fans giggle-

Sasuke: Shut up, shut up,shut up. -reads- No, I'm not related, and at least someone thinks I'm cool.

That's a special moment, actually caring for your fans.

Sasuke: No, I'm just usually hated-

Shut it, pansy boy.

Naruto: Ooooh, you got told off. Now for next letter from Starfaya967!

Hi! i'm in a good mood today so I have presents!

Naruto- I got you ramen! But very special Ramen that has rice noodles! Yum! and of course a hug because you are awesome! hugs And...water! So everyone can see you when you're the hottest- wet! pours water

Fangirls: OH MY GOD! Ek! We love you Naruto!

Itachi please protect Naruto from the fangirls okay? And your welcome too! Oh and is it true that when your were in

ANBU Kakashi did karioke? oh yeah- hugs Yay!

JKnights4eva: Because this story rocks and so do you! hugs I would kiss you but that's only if we go steady. LOL

Marlina: so you'd kiss him?

Me: Why not?

Marlina: Then I'll kiss Lee!

Me: NO! beats her with stick Run Lee ruun!

Sasuke: I don't hate you I just like making fun of you. Believe it or not I'm part of the 'emos' of our school. HOW DARE THEY JUDGE US BECAUSE WE ARE DIFFERENT! THEY ARE SUCH CLONES!

Anyway here- hands box ;whispers; It's power a very small amount so use it wisely. And- hugs I'm actually a fangirl who sort of doesn't like you. But I like you none the less!

hugs again You deserve it. EMO BLESSING! does emo blessing

By the way I'm more powerful then you! I can resist cutting no matter how much someone angers me or saddens me! Wahahaha!

Marlina: don't listen to her Sasuke she's not really emo, we're just labeled that. She isn't hurt because she embarasses herself everyday. And she doesn't cut because it hurts! And stupid...Suicide isn't the answer! so what if i got it from Chibi Vampire the manga? It's true!

Oh Sasuke and Naruto can you guys give me advice on how to get over someone dieing? I lost someone important recently...and Naruto do you have a chicken named Plucky? And Sasuke how's your rivalry with the log?

Star

Naruto: -takes ramen- Thanks, I eat it later.

-water splashes all over Naruto's hair-

Naruto: Augh, I'm all wet.

-female audience squeel-

Quick, dry his hair, before the get too "excited". -cough-

Itachi: We'll escort him out. -reads- Yeah, Kakashi sings a mean "Don't Stop Believing", by Journey.

-5 minutes pass-

-gets hugged- Well, well.

Itachi: Oooh, look who got hugged and nearly kissed.

Oooh, look who's gonna get shot in the kneecaps with a pistol, if they don't shut up.

Itachi: ...

Sasuke: -reads, takes box, pushs Starfaya away before she hugs him- So what if I cut myself? I know suicide isn't the answer, because I need to live to kill my brother.

After you kill your brother, then what?

Sasuke: Well...

Exactly, think your plot though.

-Naruto and Sasuke read last question-

Naruto: Plucky? Nope, do you JKnights4eva?

No, chicken is food. Mmmm.

Sasuke: Getting over a death? Just move on, like I did. if that doesn't work, I don't know. The log is dangerous.

Announcer: That's all for today, see you next time!!!

Remember, read and review.


	15. Letter Update: Part Uno

Well, time to start the show again.

Naruto: I bet there are gonna be some awesome letters today.

Announcer: I hope, no one wants a no-grammar hack letter...-cough- You know who you are.

Naruto: Same, let's get to the letter, it's by Neko. The Crazy Evil Kitten!

Hi Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi and Deidara! Anyway here are my questions.

1) Naruto please kill Orochimaru!

2) Why do you like dogs more? Cats are more independent so you don't have to wake up every two hours and they're only a little harder then dogs to trian. plus they're super kawai!

3) This one is for Itachi. Are you afraid of bunnies? If you are then the monty piethon bunny shall come eat you.

4) Sasuke, did you know that if a cute little black kitten were to come sit on your shoulder it would be uber kawai!

5) This is for everyone. Have any of you ever read Warriors by Erin Hunter? If you have what do you think about it?

6) This is also for everyone. Which do you like more? Chocolate pocky, or almond crush pocky?

Please update soon!

Love, Neko. The crazy evil kitty.

Naruto: Neko, it's easier said then done. He's pretty tough!

But I can reduce him into a mere shell of himself...mwhaha.

-reads- I never said I liked dogs, but I guess cats are cool.

-Itachi reads- No, I eat rabbits, but that Monty Python one? JKnights4eva owns it.

Bunny: -hiss-

Sasuke: -reads- Like I give. How would it help me in combat?

How about throwing tuna fish pieces at your enemies, so the kitty gnaws on them.

Sasuke: Wow, that sounds pretty gruesome.

Yep.

-cast reads- Nope, haven't read it yet, we'll take a gander.

-cast reads next question - Choclate, almonds taste weird.

Besides, choclate brings the spirit up.

Naruto: Next letter, please!

A'ight.

--------------------

Naruto, do you think Iruka is Mexican?

Sasuke, do you think the fight that Naruto had with Gaara was all luck?

Naruto, on a scale of 1 to 10, how emo do you think Sasuke is?

Itachi, do you think Sasuke will ever kill you?

-----------------------

Naruto: Wow, he is? I throw him a fiesta!

Sasuke: Idiot. -reads- Yeah, it probably was all luck.

Naruto: Luck my ass, you couldn't stand the first few minutes of the battle!

Sasuke: Hn.

Ouch, you just got dissed like hell!

Naruto: -reads- He is...9.5 percent emo.

The other .5 is actually being a normal human being.

Itachi: What have I created?

A super emo prince. Next to Vincent Valentine.

Itachi: I guess that's fine. -reads- No chance in hell would get to kill me, the great Itachi!

...That I can kill.

Itachi: -mumbles something about author powers- Next letter by TATheSunTwin.

Dear Lord Naruto,

Naruto,how do you feel if you were taken and raise by the Predators as a baby?(you know the aliens that hunt the Xenomorphs from the movie).

Dear Sasuke-Teme,

You suck and your are wussy.

Dear Itachi-kun,

Your so hot and powerful than Sasuke and which girl do you like?

Dear Kyuubi,

You had the most beautiful fur I ever seen and you kick ass by wasting the Leaf village 12 years ago!

Naruto: That would be pretty cool, they have plasma cannons and are rather good with shruiken!

Pretty pwnage, if you ask me.

Sasuke: -reads- ...You guys are all bastards.

Hehehe.

Itachi, here's a question for you.

Itachi: Lemme read. -reads- Thanks, and I like girls who aren't fangirls.

Kyuubi: -reads- Thanks, my fur is all natural, no special shampoos. Also, I didn't completely waste 'em, but I was close...

Being close counts I guess. Now, another letter from our faithful fan, Starfaya967!

I'm back again!

Sasuke I'm putting you in a program to stop cutting. And it's hosted by...(drumrole) MEE! Okay here I go! I'm going to do the same thing I did to my friends to make them stop cutting!

(wets top of pointer finger) Okay let's see... (whip!) okay teh area on my arm is getting red fast so I know that it's ready!

The fact that my fingertip is wet and I hit my arm fast makes it a whip-like thing! Okay now for you! (whips on Sasuke's cuts.) I'm going to keep doing this everyday until you stop. This will show that the pain won't die until you quit! Oh yeah and I brought you a CD! It's by My Chemical Romance!

"Oh what a beautiful weeding, what a beautiful wedding says a bridesmate to a waiter what a shamethe poor grooms bride is a- Shh!"

I LOVE THAT SONG!

Anyway Itachi if you ever make fun of JKnights4eva again I will beat you myself. Don't underestimate me. I'm stronger than Tsunade when she gets mad.

No Naruto I didn't forget you! Oh yes my friends wanted to know if you wanted to play Strip Poker with us. I told them that the idea was so perverted that you'd say no. But if you do want to go just let me know. You can bring some guy and girl friends because we are low on people. There's only six of us including guys. Yes JKnights4eva you can come too! But PLEASE PLEASE do not bring Shino. He is such a stalker and he's always EVERYWHERE! So he can't come. Oh and have you ever used Sexy Jutsu on Sasuke...? Hee Hee! I know how he'd react! LOL

Oh and Itachi tell Kakashi we need someone to do Karioke, we have a few Journey Cd's by the way. Tell Deidara that I know he's not gay...except when he's drunk. Which is every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday! And I also know that he makes dolls of Sasori when he's drunk. Go SASORI-SAMA! Tell Tobi that it's aweomse he's a good boy! And I want his pants!

Sasuke I think you are cool too! ...and retarted. Why? Because when you went to kill Itachi you were so unprepared! If you couldn't do anything against Gaara what makes you think that you can kill Itachi!? When you're if you plan killing your brother and making a family and resting in peace then what are you going to do now in between!?

And anyway I did try to forget about the one I lost, but let's face it Sasuke you still think about your family and how you think you failed them. So it's pretty useless to say just forget it and move on. I will not forget his face...that thing in the casket wasn't him. I didn't know that man in the casket.

Oh yeah and!

(kisses JKnights4eva on the cheek)

Let me know if Itachi makes fun of you! You're so awesome to withstand my randomness and crazyness!

Ja-ne!

Star

Sasuke: -reads- ...I don't think I'll cut anymore, that sounds painful. Also, those lyrics are from Panic! At The Disco, a different band.

Also, My Chemical Romance is not emo. Try Dashboard Confessional.

Itachi: -reads- This is quite a sad day for me.

Yes, it is!

Cast: -reads- Strip Poker?

Depends, can I break out in unconventional rape?

Naruto: 0.o

...Uhh, nothing.

Naruto: -reads- Sasuke nosebleed nearly to death.

Sasuke: By gum, that was horny.

Jeebus, that's wrong.

-Kakashi busts in, late as always-

Everyone: -GASP!-

To be continued...


	16. Letter Update: Part Deux

On the last episode of Dragonball...I mean, Ask Naruto...

Kakashi: Sorry I'm late guys, I was watching Heroes, and-

Naruto and Sasuke: Bull$#$!!!!!!

Anyways, back to the original task at hand.

Itachi: -reads- Journey? Om fuh guh. Sure, I'd love to sing!

Yay, blackmail.

Itachi: DAMN! Also, Deidara isn't drunk all the time...and I'll ask Tobi to donate his pants to you.

Bow Chicka bow wow.

Sasuke: -reads- Well, erm..uh...Gaara was strong,shut up.

Naruto: Real smart for an Uchiha, don't you think?

Sasuke: STFU.

Silence, Sasuke! Only I may say STFU!

Sasuke: -reads- Alright, if the person was important, remember the person. Then, start hating what killed said person.

-JKnights4eva recieves kiss on cheek-

-blushes- Erm...-cough- That was...bracing.

Naruto: ...HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Oh, shut it. Now a new letter, from Dark Overlord Bunny of Evil.

...  
I have...  
RETURNED!  
srsly!

I'm a sasusaku fan..but i do not care for you sasuke.. die if you must but i still like you 3 i just don't realy care . ;; gives you a cookie with a dagger inside kill whomever you want!

Dude, naruto you are awsome! I BET YOU HAVE MORE FANGIRLS THEN SASUKE! (that includes me thankyouverymuch) i love you. gives you a 100$ giftcard for walmart

ITACHI! you are smexy. period. (but your still gay ) srsly i love you ( is a naruto and itachi fangirl! SRSLY!) gives you more nailpolish

Author:  
haha deformed pineapple head  
good one!  
DUDE THIS STORY NG ROCKS!  
You are awsome-tastical  
i bring more cookies to make you virtualy fat.  
gives you truckloads of cookies,a big screen,and a 600$ giftcard for any store you want

srsly,much love for this story!

-D.O.B.E

Sasuke: -reads- Wait, SasuXSaku? Ewwwww...-takes dagger- Thanks for that dagger.

-wearing cheesy wig- Hold it, I'm customs officer J. Knights. Gimme that dagger.

Sasuke: Awww. -hands dagger-

Naruto: -reads- Damn straight. With this giftcard, I shall buy a potato gun!

Excellent! -guitar riff- Now, another letter!

As an Anko fan, what do you think of her; Itachi, Sasuke, and Naruto?

Naruto, who out of everyone do you hate the most in the show?

Sasuke, if you start becoming emo at any time, Naruto, Itachi or me will point a gun at you until you stop, my friend.

Itachi, are you going to help with the rebuilding of the clan or will you just let it be and hope the Uchiha clan gets destroyed?

million bullets

Itachi: A daughter of Orochimaru.

Sasuke: Snake woman.

Naruto: Smexy. Wait, I meant, rapist.

True dat.

Naruto: -reads- I would say, Orochimaru. He is a Micheal Jackson impersonator.

Itachi: You wouldn't know the half of it. -reads- Yeah, but in my shape of the clan, with me at top.

Sasuke: That's as likely as us being good siblings again.

ROFL. Now, the Unknown Alias wishes to ask a question.

Dear THE Future Hokage,  
Me again! I'm a little bit surprised that so many people have taken so many question ideas at this point. Anyway, I've noticed that there were a lot (but none as of late) of stories that have you joining the Akatsuki. What's your opinion on the matter? Also, earlier I asked what's your favorite crossover and you replied Avatar. If I may ask, why is that so? Have a good day! (Gives Naruto a cooking pot full of miso ramen.)  
- The Unknown Alias  
"I'm not afraid of death; it's just a minor inconvienience."

Naruto: I think, yes and no. I like the cloaks, but my friends would hate me.

Deidara: It's ok, we'll be your friends if you join. -grin-

Naruto: ...I chose Avatar, because is similar to the show, in a sense. We use elemental attacks, so do they! So there, my reason. -takes ramen- Mmmm. Ramen.

Remember, keep those letters coming!


End file.
